I’m all about the inner work. I’m all about diving deep to dig up my shit and transform. Upgrade. Take things to the next level. I’m not afraid of intensity as I can be a pretty intense person myself (or so I hear). Yet, I’m noticing a different approach in my life these days, particularly on my spiritual journey and personal growth.

I’m noticing myself veering away from the need to always dig shit out, creating unnecessary stress on my body and nervous system. It’s not avoiding discomfort or pain, not at all, I welcome that in more than ever before. I’m talking about the almost aggressive approach and the attitude of I need to endure this and be uncomfortable for the work to be effective. Really? Is this really why we are here?

I was recently introduced to a new and powerful sexual healing modality. I felt very intrigued and curious, especially because this is something I had been calling into my life. As I said, I love upgrading my life on a regular basis, and my sexuality has been on my shopping list of upgrades. My body was a yes, and I wanted to know more.

I decided to do what is called ‘An Awakening session,’ a sneak preview of what the actual work is all about. It was amazing, powerful, and I definitely got to move and release a lot. Loved that. Was blown away. After the session, I sat down with the facilitators of this work to reflect, share and discuss the potential of embarking on the full journey.

This work is not for the faint of heart. It is intense. The commitment requires either six or nine sessions through the course of several months. The financial investment is what some people would say, outrageous. My body immediately felt contracted and not at ease. Yes, seeing the amount was quite overwhelming, but beyond that, I didn’t feel it was a full yes. We talked about the money piece and how the universe provides what we need when we take those leaps of faith. I know that. I’ve taken so many of these leaps in my life and every single time I was provided for so I don’t even question that. Yet again, I didn’t get a full body yes.

A new commitment I made a few months ago was to follow only what feels like a juicy yes. Not a maybe, not even 95% but only what I feel would bring the most relaxation and ease. Relaxation is becoming the forefront of my life right now. If a choice or certain direction doesn’t bring relaxation and peace to my body, it might just be a stop sign. Because what am I trying to prove? And to whom? It’s like living under the false notion that I need to prove something to the universe in order to get my prize.

I had an opportunity to try something different for a change. Me in the past would have ignored my body’s response to the whole thing and have chosen to go for it. Instead, I chose to give myself the rest of the evening to feel into it and deliver my decision the following day. My old inclination and pattern would have been to take on this commitment even though it felt a bit stressful. When I looked into that, I had the realization that this inclination came from a place of needing to prove something: ‘Let me say yes to this just so the universe can see I trust it and give me what I want.’ A somewhat distorted understanding of the law of attraction. I don’t buy that BS anymore. It’s just like religion only wrapped in a shiny gift paper of spirituality and self-development.

If we want to talk about the law of attraction, the highest vibration there is, is called Love. When we fully embody that and anchor it into our body, we become powerful magnets to whatever it is we desire. Every day, we are given opportunities to anchor that high vibration of love through the choices that lay in front of us. With every choice and every decision feel into your body. Does this bring relaxation? Is it a FULL yes? Relaxation is a sign of alignment so if that piece is missing, we step out of harmony, out of balance. There is a disconnect.

When we choose to listen to our body, we send the signal of honoring it, respecting it and ultimately trusting it. By doing that, we let our precious Self know it is safe and loved, and our choices are driven from that place. What would be the most loving choice? After we practice that enough, we stop drowning in the endless sea of choices because it becomes very obvious what is the highest choice at any given moment.

It was very clear to me what was my highest choice at that moment. No more ignoring my body’s wisdom and causing more stress in the name of doing more self- work and trying to show the universe how trusting I am. The right self- work for us will bring not only tremendous shifts and expansion but also relaxation, ease, harmony and balance.

At the end of the day, what we here to learn on any path is how to love ourselves unconditionally, create balance and honor the temple that we were so graciously given. We are here to completely dissolve any self- judgment, self- doubt, and negative self- talk and own our innate wisdom and self- mastery. If something doesn’t feel like a complete yes, if it brings more stress than relaxation into my body, how dare I to question that intelligence? Apparently, even on the spiritual path of self- growth, we have been taught to push, endure, suffer and suppress the signals our body gives us. Have we lost our minds people??

Now, it’s really important for me to emphasize that I’m not suggesting to avoid digging or doing deep self- work, exploring new healing modalities. I’m all about that. And yes, a lot of the time it doesn’t feel comfortable. What I’m talking about is tuning into the feeling in our body when something is being presented to us. We might be exposed to a new type of a healing modality or whatever it is that can facilitate growth and expansion. Most of the time, it’s something new that requires us to step out of our comfort zone and I’m a huge fan of that. Here’s the distinction: When I feel into doing this work, even though I know it’s going to be uncomfortable and stir some things up, is there a sense of relaxation in my body? Does it create stress? There’s a difference between stress and excitement. It’s a very fine line but the more we tune into that and listen, the more we can recognize what brings relaxation to us and what doesn’t.

If we choose to dedicate ourselves to the path of self- growth and expansion, than let’s submit ourselves to Love. It is the key to the door, the door itself, the path, and the ultimate lesson. And I’m talking about self Love. RADICAL Self Love. How long do we need to keep poking and poking, scratching our wounds and chasing liberation trying all kind of different modalities before we realize that the one we are poking is actually our own precious heart? Our precious self who just wants to be heard, honored and loved? That’s the one who holds the key to everything we think we’re looking for. That one is tired of being poked, stressed and ignored.

What if we approached this path of growth and transformation from a place of ease and relaxation? What if our priority was to be relaxed and to make that our indicator, our compass that tells us what’s in our highest and what is not. What if we replaced the fear of I’m not evolving enough, fast enough or deep enough with relaxing into the process? Remember, when we say no to one thing, we’re saying yes to something even greater that will deliver the shifts we’ve intended to anchor in our life. The universe has our back. We don’t need to prove anything.

Don’t doubt your body’s intelligence. Don’t doubt your wisdom. No else can tell you what is the right path for you. NO ONE. self- doubt is a party pooper so stop inviting it into the party called ‘your life’ and don’t let other people bring it as their guest either. We can always choose to say no thank you. Instead, say yes to listening to your highest wisdom who speaks to us through the intelligence of our body. Say yes to honoring this intelligence by making choices that are rooted in relaxation and ease. Say yes to loving yourself by welcoming more gentleness and harmony. Say yes to nurturing the innocence in your heart and the intuition of your soul.

If you are a determined truthseeker, on the path of self- growth and expansion, start noticing if your spiritual path is nurturing or perhaps self- punishing, borderline aggressive. How much do you feel you need to push yourself in the name of self-growth? Does it bring more relaxation or does it create more stress and disharmony? By all means, let us all stay committed to this incredible process of evolution, unraveling the layers of conditioning and fear but can we just be more chilled about it? No matter what path we’re on, no matter what modalities we use if it doesn’t create relaxation, perhaps it’s a sign to turn in a different direction. Just listen to your body. Listen to your heart. All we are really looking for is already here. We just need to stop the chasing and listen. Truly listen.